Well, it finally hit me this morning. Today was hard. The tears flowed freely throughout the day as I saw my son’s eye, no longer there. It’s not awful to look at – just pink, with a clear plastic lens over it. But as the swelling dissipated and his eyes were open the reality began to hit. I’ll be so glad when he gets his prosthetic eye!… I think the grieving will come in waves, perhaps when I least expect it…
I wrote him a letter this morning to give to him some day when he’s older. It was good to do.
I’ve been reflecting on how we grieve so differently from the world when our trust is in Jesus. In Christ grief and hope coexist in a heart going through pain. The pain is so real in the moment and yet so is the total confidence that there is a purpose that God is working out. I can live with those in tension. I have to. And I am pleased to. Because in that relinquishment I get to be fully human – experiencing the emotion that God intends and also trust that God will be fully God in his perfect ordering of our lives. God gets to be God and I get to be me.