Sarah’s thoughts on eyes…
How beautiful it is to have two eyes! To be honest, I’ve never really paid it much attention. But now I find myself drawn to people’s eyes. I am struck at the beauty of God’s perfect design of our faces. How perfectly two eyes look… I don’t mean to imply I turn away from my son as I look at him with only one eye. Though I do miss his other eye – he did have particularly beautiful eyes! And the one is still beautiful, of course! 🙂 But it reinforces the reality that God’s design is so lovely and well thought out. (That’s an understatement, I know!) He’s still handsome and sweet as ever. He’s cooing and starting to “talk” now and has almost rolled over. He’s huge – in the 98% for weight and height. That’s my boy!
Every now and then I’m hit by the reality of his blindness in that eye – that it’s really gone. Just like that, it happened. And my heart breaks all over again…It really is a loss–one that I think I won’t truly grasp for a while. Yet, at the same time, I find myself accepting this new reality. I don’t know… Talk to me in a month and we’ll see how I am. 🙂
The One Who Sees is the One Who Makes Eyes
I’ve been reflecting on God’s ability to make eyes. Think about this. Imagine the man Jesus gave sight to had no eyes. We know he was blind, but just imagine for a moment he was blind because he actually had no eyes! (He probably had eyes that just didn’t work – but you never know!) And imagine that in order to give him his sight, Jesus actually made him eyes – right there! Newly formed eyes where there had been none! That would seem beyond miraculous. That the God-Man could/would make, out of nothing, brand new eyes for this man who had none… But now think about the phenomenal reality that occurs everyday as a baby is knitted together in the womb of its mother: eyes, ears, organs, skin etc. being formed from nothing! It is in fact, equally miraculous! But instead of happening outside the womb in happens inside! Yes, it is as miraculous for Jesus to make an eye in a grown man as it is to make it in my womb. It’s a shame that it’s predictability has made it seem less amazing in our eyes…
The formation of human life and every part of the body is truly miraculous and astounding. Think about it: what did I do to grow Zach? I ate, I slept, I drank, I took good vitamins to ensure I was getting optimal nutrition. All things I would do anyway to keep myself alive. And yet somehow as each day went by a tiny human was growing more and more completely as I did those things. I had NOTHING to do with Zach growing and being formed as each day went on.
It is God’s work–growing humans–ensuring that the cells come together, begin to multiply according to the instructions of the DNA, continuing day by day in a timely and complete manner, bringing about the onset of labor (doctors still don’t know what actually triggers the onset of an uninduced labor!), guiding the baby through the birth canal and into the world and a mother’s loving arms… Yes, it is God who does it and guides every cell where it ought to be – all with his Sovereign purpose in mind. He knows the beginning and the end and works all things for those purposes. And those purposes are for a beautiful kingdom, filled with his glory and people who would love him becuase of his awesomeness in knowledge and power. Yes, I pray, I know God has purposes for Zach in His Kingdom to know Him and make Him known. Did God ordain this cancer? I must say with certainty, He did. Though it breaks my heart to see his eye gone…And oh, how I pray the cancer is gone and never comes back.
Ah, how I look forward to the resurrection! All will be made new. Zach will have his eye again in eternity. We were intended to be whole, perfect, beautiful. Yet God deemed it wise to make his glory known in a fallen and broken world. It is so broken…But there it is, all the more reason resurrection bodies MUST be! (Thanks Pastor Alberta!) He is making all things new, restoring what was lost! YESSSS!
On the journey,
Sarah
. . . As I Follow Christ 
The Lord is blessing you mightily, Sarah, and He’s using you and your difficult circumstances to bless others. Thank you for your transparency, your willingness to share your hurting heart with all of us.
We continue to pray for Zach and your entire family.
With love and deepest regards,
Peggy Lafata
Thanks for sharing Zach with this grandma yesterday. He’s so precious! We had fun communicating with each other. He has such a darling personality and smile.
Sarah, I know for sure that God will use Zach in a miraculous way. I can almost see him standing at the podium preaching like his Daddy. Romans 8:28 promises this will all be for the good, though it must be very difficult to think of it that way now.
Blessings to all of the Brown family, and special ones to Baby Zach.
Jean Porter
Hey Sarah, Zach is so handsome! I’m grieving with you too. May the Lord give you strengh to go through all of this with your head lifted high and may the Lord bless Zach’s life in a special way! Zach is so blessed to have such loving parents like you guys.
God brought to my remembrance a few scripture verses as i was writing this. I hope they wii comfort your heart:
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me…
To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
Isaiah 61:1,2c,3 (New King James Version)
“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy”. Psalm 126:5
Love you, guys and praying for you…
Sarah–I’ve been away from a computer for a while and have not been able to follow your blog as much as I would like. But what a joy to read your’s today and hear the praise in your “voice” for the wisdom and greatness of our Lord in all He does. We don’t understand it but He certainly has a wonderful plan for all that comes into our lives. I especially noticed the statement you made: “He knows the beginning and the end and works all things for those purposes.” The children at Cornerstone will be studying this in VBS this year and just recently Dennis and I witnessed it as we watched the life of Fanny Crosby. By all standards, she suffered a huge tragedy in her life, but, oh, the marvelous plan God had in mind for her!! I believe God has a marvelous plan in all of Zach (and your) tragedy; you ( and we) have yet to see it unfold!! God is doing a great work in your hearts (and ours at Cornerstone and beyond) because of this experience and it will all be for His glory. Have a great week and know we are praying. We are so glad Zach is moving right along!! Thank you for sharing from your heart; it blesses ours.
Dennis and Barbara Smith
My heart goes out to you and your precious little Zach. I am 62 now and I lost my left eye when I was 12. I have never thought of it as a negative thing. I have my very strong Christian dad to thank for that. It has been a blessing in my life in more ways than i can say. It has always been the blessing of still having one eye and not the sadness of only having one eye I thank my Lord and Saviour every day for the many many many many awsome amazing things He gives me . I am sending this to you. to share and to let you know you and your son are now in my prayers. If i can ever answer any questions please ask i would be so happy to share anything i can. Your sister in Christ. Linda Harrison
Hi Linda,
Thanks for your kind note. Sounds like the glass is half full.
Tim